Changing of the guard.

Today is my last day at the newspaper, and therefore, my last day working with Caren.

I have added a co-worker as an author to this blog and he will carry the torch.

I'm confident that he will do justice to the spirit of the blog, continuing the tradition I have begun.

From time to time I'll post updates, some of Caren's "greatest hits," if you will.

Until then, fare thee well.

Commitment issues.

Caren has been having some problems with her new love interest, the dj.

"He said he doesn't want a commitment right now," Caren said, then asked, hopefully rhetorically, "What does that mean?"

Danger. Produce.

Caren advised Dan that he should be careful while shopping for produce at the super market. She went on to explain that "poisonous snakes live in the produce" and a woman once died while her husband finished food shopping.

Mothman.

Today, with no prompting, Caren said, "I'm like 'The Mothman Prophecies.'"

When I asked her to explain what she meant, Caren said, "Speaking of which, I watched 'The Grudge' this weekend and Coco growled at the screen."

Casting call.

Caren received a Myspace message from a casting agency who think she is the perfect candidate for a new reality television show based around an arranged marriage. In all likelihood, the message was sent to millions of people across the country and around the world.

Caren thought enough of the spam message to write down the information and talk about it in the office... All day.

Something bad.

As reporters, part of our job entails assigning photographers to go to various events in local communities and take pictures.

Caren forgot to assign a photographer for an important event over the past weekend, and was worried about getting yelled at.

When our editor walked past her desk Caren was noticeably upset and when he asked her what was wrong, in true five-year-old fashion, she confessed, "...I did something bad."

Books.

Caren couldn't drive to her date the other day because she has "like ten I hate guys books" in her front seat.

One of the books is called "101 Lies Men Tell Women." It was a gift from her mother, who kind enough to tape one of her gray hairs into the inside cover.

Problems with modern technology.

Caren has not had a toaster in five years. After a mysterious fire while she was living in Boston, Caren claims to be "terrified" of toasters.