First date.

Caren and her phone friend had their first date this weekend.

They were both "too nervous to have a nice sit down dinner" so they went to White Castle, where they ordered 20 cheeseburgers and four orders of fries.

Caren said she had four burgers and there were a couple left in her fridge, meaning the phone friend had no less than 10 burgers on his first date with Caren.

Caren on Corzine.

Caren doesn't like New Jersey Governor Jon Corzine because "he makes everyone wear seat belts while can go tra-la-la and not wear one."

The big Hershey bars.

John Kerry was apparently Caren's neighbor in Boston and he gave out the big Hershey bars on Halloween.

Italian Wedding Soup.

On a particularly frustrating day, Caren decided to order Italian Wedding Soup from the restaurant next door.

I told her that it was the closest she would ever get to an Italian wedding.

I actually felt bad for a minute.

What's that in my pasta?

I ate leftover pasta with tomato sauce for lunch today.

As I walked back to the kitchen to wash my tupperware, Caren asked me if I was done eating my "highly sodumized" lunch. Caren was attempting to explain that jarred pasta sauces are typically high in sodium.

I explained to Caren that "sodumizing" is illegal in some states.

She didn't get the joke.

Anti-christ.

Caren does not think Barack Obama is the anti-Christ.

I'm actually surprised by this one.

Phone friend.

Caren is somehow involved with a DJ at New York's popular dance station, 103.5 WKTU.

She calls him her "phone friend" because they met when she called to win concert tickets.

Caren could not elaborate further on the extent of their relationship.

He was supposed to accompany Caren as her date to a house party I had this weekend, but they were no-shows.

The End of the World.

Caren's mother heard from Bill O'Reilly that the world was going to end on Dec. 12, 2010.

She told a woman at the bank about it. The woman nodded her head in agreement, leading Caren to the conclusion that "it must be true."

Weird.

"I don't have to make up stuff in my life to sound weird. It's just all weird naturally," -Caren.

Smoking bugs.

"When I see a bug bothering me I blow my smoke on it." -Caren.

Inside out.

This morning, I noticed Caren was wearing a different jacket than usual. It is blue with flowers on it and Caren bought it at Cracker Barrel. I also noticed that it was inside out.

I brought it to her attention, and she acknowledged that she wearing the jacket inside out.

This conversation took place at 9:30 a.m.

It is now 4 p.m. and she has yet to turn the jacket right-side out.

Try again later.

Today, Dan made a joke about Caren, to which she quickly responded by saying, "Why don't you make like a Magic 8-ball and try again later?"

The Wrath of the Caren.

"I stoned a jellyfish to its death." -Caren.

AARP.

Caren has an AARP card.

AARP, which stands for American Association of Retired Persons, is a membership group for people 50 and over.

Caren is 30 years old.